Friday, 13 July 2007

Rem Decompensations!

Friday 5:50 p.m.
The start of the week was very good, especially with several nice evenings in the allotment, but yesterday was a real wobbly one! I really, really need to be left alone, but I'm not going to be, so I'll just have to ...... get me a gun!

I wasn't feeling too great today either ... well, I think I should be doing better! ... but I meditated all the way to Bellshill on the train, as is my wont, and that made the view a little less frustrating. Then the auld maw wanted to listen to the Dharmapada C.D. when I was only there about forty minutes. Yahoo! So I sat in a lotus at the foot of her bed for the next hour and a half, and did ra bliss with the words of the buddha in the background. Fung off, flatheids! All I need to do is sit. That was a real boost. Right after the CD finished she sat up in her bed and said she was going to give me the money to go to the Samye Ling for a week. She said it just came to her when she was listening to the Dharmapada. Of course, I protested, but she wasn't having it. So I'll be down there, no doubt in the rain, in a tent for a week before July is out, and I'll be as happy as a pig in shit.

There are no cannybliss yogurts at the moment. Tonight I have to go to see someone I haven't seen for thirty years with no bob hope and no drinkies. I think I'd rather put my head down the toilet. I could be attempting to emanate as a deity in the full on bliss verging on ecstasy. I'm the only person I know who objects to just about everything they do, but keeps on doing it. It might be called being a wimp! Does anyone know anything about assertiveness training?

4 comments:

ion said...

Too much and too little company- It's always a balancing act. But how can you go wrong with such an old dear? You're old mum seems to know what you need best, so trust her and take her meagre pension for Samye Ling :) Take the wee wan too if there's enough cash.

May I ask where you are in the ages of the siblings? Frank Sulloway sees personality correlates from birth order. If I was to guess, you'd either be a middle or later child (autonomous self-starters), or maybe the first-born (high achievers). I can't very well go wrong with such predictions, can I?

Stephanie said...

That's wonderful about your ma funding your yogic efforts! Another bodhisattva in your personal mandala. She sounds like an interesting woman.

I'm the only person I know who objects to just about everything they do, but keeps on doing it. It might be called being a wimp! Does anyone know anything about assertiveness training?

Often we do things for others that aren't that interesting or enjoyable for us, but the lovely secret of that is that mudita + karuna fuel some powerful bliss! They're like jet fuel that melts the heart into emptiness! That's my secret, at least. I feel more bliss letting someone get in front of me in line than I do getting out of the store more quickly. Of course, if you're doing something that's not making anyone else happy and is also making you miserable, that's just a pointless waste right there.

Hotboy said...

Ion: I'm the sixth child of seven; the fourth of five boys.
Somebody! I wish I could be sitting in cave somewhere just meditating. I'm just not quite ready for it yet, thus, contradictions and paradoxes as usual! Hotboy.

rob said...

Coincidentally, the old dear sometimes puts on a CD to shut me up, but she's never paid me to go away. Well done! Are you sure you're not a first-born high achiever?