Ra Samye Day 3(b)

Wednesday 7:57 p.m.
I finished Tsongkhapa's book today and started on The Bliss of Inner Fire. It was because of reading the latter that I wanted to take refuge and get a guru. They don't like this book at the Samye Ling, but I came with it covered in newspaper like the poor kids at school used to cover their jotters, the ones who couldn't afford the brown paper.

I says the boy whose teachings it represents managed to develope an "illusory body." From what I can make out this is a ghostie man or men you can send off to do stuff, etc. I'm not sure. Tsongkhapa is supposed to have used his to put out a fire once.

What's all this illusory body stuff about, Hotboy? Buggered if I know, Jack. Sounds ridiculous, but so did raising inner heat, and I can do that a wee bit sometimes. How about going breathless? Well, two years ago that was ridiculous, but St Teresa of Avila went into breathless states as well. It's not just the buddhists or Tibetans who talk of such things.

Today has been great and everything about my meditations has improved since I got here. I realised it was a year since I was here on my own for a week. This is because I wasted all my money on beer and bob hope. Well, it's a week since I had a drink, or, I've had one drink in the last two and a half weeks. I gave up drinking for a year twice before and it was after spending a week here. It gives me such a boost. I've got to get a grip on my debts and start spending all my spare cash on getting down here more often.

I haven't had a conversation since I got here. I got an nod from the lama, a smile from Teresa, a big hullo from the Venerable Big Indian, and the initial chat with the gatekeeper to nirvana. That's enough.