Ra Hotboy Dialogues No2 (Try Again!)

Wednesday 10:13 p.m.
Ra bliss hit another level in the allotment today, but I had to watch the footie this evening, and as a Rangers supporter I had to go to the off-license when they unfortunately lost two nil. This is three beers in.

(During the first performance of the Hotboy Dialogues, Hotboy fell off his stool and had to be helped to his dresssing room due to feeling somewhat tired and emotional. The ventriloquist dummy, Jack the Spam Robot, will be speaking to his agent if any more embarrassing scenes like this occur again. Jack isn't happy with this gig!)

(The curtain rises. Centre stage we have Hotboy Madyamika S.O.B. and on his knee is little Jack)
J: Why do we have to keep going on about the moon?
H.B. It's emptiness we're going on about, Jack. The moon is just a kind of illustration of that.
J: Why do we have to talk about empitness?
H.B. Good point, Jack. Ra bliss today was fantastic. I think I could just stick with ra bliss, but it seems that you have to do analytical meditations to feel good about the times when you're not blissing.
J: Well, why don't you just bliss all the time? If you can hit huge amounts of ra bliss, it will make you grin like a monkey and everything will be engaged with through ra bliss surely.
H.B. They say analytical meditations will help me with the afflictive emotions ... like not liking Celtic supporters.
J: The Dalai Lama says it will take you eons and eons to deal with the afflictive emotions, Hotboy.
H.B. In that case, we'd better hope we started a while ago and get on with it. You have to remember that sometimes I'd like to kill people and that's not a bodhisattva thing.
J: Okay then. This is even although your root guru told you that you'd get everything through calming meditations ...
H.B. I used to write plays, Jack. You can brown study plays, like go down the road with them in your head in some kind of way and make lateral connections whilst absorbed in thought. When I'm not doing ra bliss, I want to think about things like emptiness because that's the way I got the cosmic revelation about twelve or thirteen years ago. It's doing your head in, Jack. It's dealing with the contradictions, like HOW CAN NOTHING EXIST OUTSIDE YOUR OWN MIND? Alright.
J: Okay, Hotboy. Let's go again. Dearie, dearie me.

Hotboy: Okay, Jack. Just tell us what you know about the moon.
Jack: Fung sake! The moon is up in the sky. It presents itself as one thing though it is made up lots of little things, which we do not really understand fully, like glue-ons, and Klingons, and upside down-ons. It does not exist in the manner of its appearance and yet nonetheless conventionally functions with valid presence. In order to dispel this illusion, contemplate the metaphor of an image reflected in a mirror. Imagine the moon reflected on water. Thus shall we regard all things.

Hotboy: Hmmm?
Jack: Do I get the badge that says I'm a Library Assistant then?
Hotboy: If you get the badge, you'll have to keep the library books tidy and in order on the shelves.
Jack: Fung improvement on this gig.
Hotboy: Okay, I'll give you the badge if you can tell me about chariots. What can we say about chariots, Jack?
Jack: I'd rather talk about stagecoaches.
Hotboy: Okay, stagecoaches, Jack.
Jack: All you can say about stagecoaches is what we know about them from the famous film by John Ford with John Wayne making his debut. A stagecoach is made up of things and exists in your mind, but has a valid presence perhaps. It has a name, stagecoach, and it has function. You sit in the stagecoach and red indians ride alongside and try to shoot arrows into you. There's not really much more you can say about stagecoaches.
Hotboy: Okay.
Jack: Can I get the badge then?
Hotboy: I'm afraid I gave all the badges away to charming Polish kids.
Jack: Are you telling me the badges only existed in your mind?
Hotboy: In the next dialogue, Jack, we will talk about how emptiness should affect attachment, alright?
Jack: Fragging currants! Basturns! Basturns!