Wednesday 10:21 p.m.
I got paid today. I had to work overtime. I've bought four bottles of Erdinger to compensate for trying so hard with the juju and meditations over the last wee while. Since I cut up my credit card last week, ra bliss has hit much further and greater heights. To celebrate, here comes another slightly drunken dialogue with little Jack, my deep dear friend, in the great vastness of bloggydom.
AFTER THE REVOLUTION!
(The curtain opens. In the chair, Hotboy is bound hand and foot, and gagged. Little Jack, the Spam Robot, is sitting on Hotboy's knee. He has the black beard on a stick in one hand, and in the other a bottle of Erdinger beer which he drinks from throughout. Little Jack is covered in badges which say Library Assistant and Library Monitor)
JACK: We, the Spam Robots and I, do not want to hear any more about emptiness! We do not want to hear about suffering. All that crap about emptiness is for the eggheads. All that stuff about suffering is for the flatheids! Of course, the flatheids suffer because they don't even start meditating; they are sweetie sucking evil basturns, and all deserve to be reincarnated in the worst possible imaginable hells because they have completely funged up on being human beings. The only decent aspect of human beingness that we spam robots can discern is ra bliss! So, Hotboy, tell us something about ra bliss!
HOTBOY: I don't think ra bliss, Jack, is the point of all this.
JACK: Fung off! Can you get down to ra bliss, or can't you?
HOTBOY: Over the past wee while, I think, Jack, that I have almost got down to the thoughtless bliss, the great globule, the envelope, the unfoldingness, the indescribable to flatheids or anyone else, ra bliss that takes you away from the concerns of this world, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss!
JACK: And has this been of any use to anyone else, Hotboy?
HOTBOY: It has been absolutely bugger all use to anyone I know, Jack. I am surrounded by flatheids, Jack. I don't like being amongst these people, Jack. I keep thinking they might start crying and never stop. Can I go to hospital now, please?
JACK: What? We're here to talk about ra bliss!
HOTBOY: I'm getting pissed. I'd like to go to hospital now, please. Why can't I buy some decent drugs on the street around here? If I can't go to hospital, can I go to the jail? I'd be so happy in solitary confinement!
JACK: I thought you were going to tell us about ra bliss.
HOTBOY: I can't get away from flatheids till Friday. Till then, just fung off! Fung off! Fung off!
(Little Jack the Spam Robot then jumps of the prisoner's knee and before the audience says:)
JACK: So, ladies and gentlemen, it's not about ra emptiness, and it's not about ra suffering, and it's not about ra bliss. It's about ra afflictive emotions! Yes! The fung afflictive emotions! That is ra problem!
(The curtain closes!)
HOTBOY: (off stage!) Dearie me! Thank God, the off-license is still open!
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11 comments:
Your invisible friends are so much more interesting than mine.
Mine just argue about whose turn it is to do the dishes or clean up after the cats.
Though being way out here on the edge and my closest contact is my hubby who is also Buddhist, I don't worry so much about flatheids.
I just want to wind to take a break so I can go bliss out in my kayak.
Marie! Most fortunate that your husband is into buddhism! Yes, indeed! Hotboy
I am a fortunate person in so many ways.
I am grateful for my life.
Hilarious and enlightening, as usual.
Doctor Jack is helping me already, perhaps even more than Doctor Robert. He should get on Oprah and help the millions, like Doctor Oz. The book deal would follow.
Stephy: Always nice to see your comments.
Albert? Is that you? You're in enough trouble already. Hotboy
I'm not the one with the wee boy sitting on his knee. Your only hope now is to plead insanity or get a Santa suit.
Albert? Is that you? It's a Spam Robot! Wee boys, eh? Bit of freudian slip there, I'm afraid. Dearie me! Hotboy p.s. Have you ever considered joining the priesthood?
Not after seeing what it did to your good self.
On further reflection, I am willing to be ordained here, if it means I get access to your acolytes and wherever they keep their HNTs. My own have all deserted me.
Albert? Sorry, just me and the spam robot here, I'm afraid. Hotboy
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