Ra Cross John!

Boxing Day 9:17 p.m.
And on the second sip of Erdinger, my true love said to me ..... Hotboy, ever since you gave up drinking last Thursday, you've had a drink every night. Merely a re-configuring of the middle way, Jack.

Nobody's been in all day. After recovering from the plonko collapso I imbibed whilst scoffing the fabulous Christmas dinner, I started meditating and over the course of the day everything just came on stronger and stronger.

I was still breathing, Jack, but towards the end there was an awful, awful lot of ra bliss. Then I went for a carry out because .... well, because I'm an idiot really. Maybe I got my tao wrong a couple of days ago and what I should do is meditate all day and carouse all night, instead of famine for three weeks and feast for one. No, it's just a bad time of the year to give anything up.

After reading the books by St Teresa of Avila (I've got a favourite catholic saint! Who'd believe it?!), I did promise myself I'd tackle St John of the Cross. He was her wee pal. He fell out with his superiors once, as you do, and they locked him up in a horrible wee pokey place, and tortured him, and brought him out once a week to be publicly lashed. I wonder if they really thought this would help. Anyway, whilst being tortured and so on, I wrote these mystical poems, for which apparently he's famous in Spain. So I'll start by reading them, but it'll be a pain in the neck because I can't read in Spango and I bet it's all praising the lord. Anyway ...

I haven't a clue what ra bliss is. I know how I got it, but I don't know what it is. I suppose that's the same for lots of things, but it doesn't help when you want to tell flatheids about ra bliss whilst doing your missionary stuff. I don't have an explanation. I don't know how it works. You can't show it and you can't explain it. Even if you could levitate for the morons, they still wouldn't meditate. They're just too dumb to meditate. I think it would be best if I just forgot about the flatheids and give up the drink and drugs, and just abided in constant euphoria. Hmmmm?

My family have come in. I'm the only one in my family who meditates. I'm the only one with access to ra bliss. Maybe if I keep going on about ra bliss to them .... that thing without descriptors or explanation ... they'll give me money to go away and live in a cave. After you'd settled into cave life, I just can't think of anything more wonderful or any other opportunity with such potential. Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss!