Ra Nurturing!

Thursday 12:50 p.m.
You don't feel as if you've quite got ownership of the forces that move about in your body, the compounded thing that gives you ra bliss and the wonderfully uplifting and stretchy feelings. It seems to develop separately. It's a bit like growing potatoes. You do some stuff, but the potatoes are growing themselves. You try to help them become nice big tatties, but you're only the small but vital part in growing them.

You can see why this kundalini stuff could freak you this way. This life force isn't really yours. It's a while since I've felt that I should be a wee bit scared of this. It hasn't given me a fright for a while.

So it says that once the winds have entered the central channel, they then will stabilise and dissolve. As they dissolve, you should go through the death process. I read somewhere that the first time this happens to some yogis they really think they're actually dying. You are supposed to get adamantine samadhi when this is going on since thoughts won't arise when your mind is in the central channel. So what makes you start breathing again? Hmmmm?

This morning's meditations were a bit like visiting your allotment when you'd been on holiday for a fortnight. The tatties have grown and developed since you were there last. They say doing the vajrayana is like being in a bamboo pipe. You're going to go up or down. On thing you're not going to do is stay still.

Our friend with the MS is in respite care in North Berwick, so we went to see her last night, and we're not complaining about anything today. Afterwards, I had four bottles of Erdinger and watched the footie. Today I won't see anyone. There's a Werner Herzog Dalai Lama movie on at the Filmhouse. I'm supposed to go there, but that's it. The Domestic Bliss is still festivalling!

11 p.m.
Shiva came round and we smoked some pollen then went to see The Wheel of Time, which was about the Kalachakra Mandala juju and assorted other things. There was a joe there in Bodhi Gaya who'd prostrated his way from Mongolia. It took three and a half years. Then the gig was cancelled because the Dalai Lama was no well. The joe did not seem bothered. He said he knew how big the earth was since he'd measured it with his body.

This evening I meditated for a couple of hours then went running up the five wee hills that comprise Dundas Street. After the bath, I had a brilliant meditation. The vase breathing was working very well; lots and lots of bliss engendered.

Well, that was that! Managed to socialise and fit in about seven hours meditations. What a good day!