Friday 5:35 p.m.
I was feeling a bit crabbit coming home from Bellshill today. Partly, this was due to missing the extra hour's meditation I normally get while listening to the Dharmapada with my auld maw ... because my sister was visiting. My sister has an interest in the education of the working class and this subject just makes me mad.
By the way, I went to a single sex selected school which was full of working class kids. It's another world, Jack, so it is!
Then I get home just in time to listen to the news on Radio 4. So I'm stirring the soap and listening to the news, but there isn't any news. I switched it off after the first twenty minutes which was entirely concerned with a memorial service for some aristocratic woman who died with her boyfriend because they weren't wearing seatbelts in the motor doing 100 m.p.h.... well, before it totalled into a wall. But this was ten years ago! Dearie me! Off with their heads and up the republic!
Friday, 31 August 2007
Thursday, 30 August 2007
Ra Nurturing!
Thursday 12:50 p.m.
You don't feel as if you've quite got ownership of the forces that move about in your body, the compounded thing that gives you ra bliss and the wonderfully uplifting and stretchy feelings. It seems to develop separately. It's a bit like growing potatoes. You do some stuff, but the potatoes are growing themselves. You try to help them become nice big tatties, but you're only the small but vital part in growing them.
You can see why this kundalini stuff could freak you this way. This life force isn't really yours. It's a while since I've felt that I should be a wee bit scared of this. It hasn't given me a fright for a while.
So it says that once the winds have entered the central channel, they then will stabilise and dissolve. As they dissolve, you should go through the death process. I read somewhere that the first time this happens to some yogis they really think they're actually dying. You are supposed to get adamantine samadhi when this is going on since thoughts won't arise when your mind is in the central channel. So what makes you start breathing again? Hmmmm?
This morning's meditations were a bit like visiting your allotment when you'd been on holiday for a fortnight. The tatties have grown and developed since you were there last. They say doing the vajrayana is like being in a bamboo pipe. You're going to go up or down. On thing you're not going to do is stay still.
Our friend with the MS is in respite care in North Berwick, so we went to see her last night, and we're not complaining about anything today. Afterwards, I had four bottles of Erdinger and watched the footie. Today I won't see anyone. There's a Werner Herzog Dalai Lama movie on at the Filmhouse. I'm supposed to go there, but that's it. The Domestic Bliss is still festivalling!
11 p.m.
Shiva came round and we smoked some pollen then went to see The Wheel of Time, which was about the Kalachakra Mandala juju and assorted other things. There was a joe there in Bodhi Gaya who'd prostrated his way from Mongolia. It took three and a half years. Then the gig was cancelled because the Dalai Lama was no well. The joe did not seem bothered. He said he knew how big the earth was since he'd measured it with his body.
This evening I meditated for a couple of hours then went running up the five wee hills that comprise Dundas Street. After the bath, I had a brilliant meditation. The vase breathing was working very well; lots and lots of bliss engendered.
Well, that was that! Managed to socialise and fit in about seven hours meditations. What a good day!
You don't feel as if you've quite got ownership of the forces that move about in your body, the compounded thing that gives you ra bliss and the wonderfully uplifting and stretchy feelings. It seems to develop separately. It's a bit like growing potatoes. You do some stuff, but the potatoes are growing themselves. You try to help them become nice big tatties, but you're only the small but vital part in growing them.
You can see why this kundalini stuff could freak you this way. This life force isn't really yours. It's a while since I've felt that I should be a wee bit scared of this. It hasn't given me a fright for a while.
So it says that once the winds have entered the central channel, they then will stabilise and dissolve. As they dissolve, you should go through the death process. I read somewhere that the first time this happens to some yogis they really think they're actually dying. You are supposed to get adamantine samadhi when this is going on since thoughts won't arise when your mind is in the central channel. So what makes you start breathing again? Hmmmm?
This morning's meditations were a bit like visiting your allotment when you'd been on holiday for a fortnight. The tatties have grown and developed since you were there last. They say doing the vajrayana is like being in a bamboo pipe. You're going to go up or down. On thing you're not going to do is stay still.
Our friend with the MS is in respite care in North Berwick, so we went to see her last night, and we're not complaining about anything today. Afterwards, I had four bottles of Erdinger and watched the footie. Today I won't see anyone. There's a Werner Herzog Dalai Lama movie on at the Filmhouse. I'm supposed to go there, but that's it. The Domestic Bliss is still festivalling!
11 p.m.
Shiva came round and we smoked some pollen then went to see The Wheel of Time, which was about the Kalachakra Mandala juju and assorted other things. There was a joe there in Bodhi Gaya who'd prostrated his way from Mongolia. It took three and a half years. Then the gig was cancelled because the Dalai Lama was no well. The joe did not seem bothered. He said he knew how big the earth was since he'd measured it with his body.
This evening I meditated for a couple of hours then went running up the five wee hills that comprise Dundas Street. After the bath, I had a brilliant meditation. The vase breathing was working very well; lots and lots of bliss engendered.
Well, that was that! Managed to socialise and fit in about seven hours meditations. What a good day!
Monday, 27 August 2007
Ra Real McCoy!
Monday 9:15 p.m.
I finished reading through The Real McCoy, which I reckon is now nearly twenty years old. How time flies!
Part of the plot is about an evangelical Christian running for the White House. That didn't really seem likely twenty years ago!
Anyway, it was an interesting radio play and I tried to hack a book round it in quicktime so I could become rich and famous, as usual. I think I put the prose round the dialogue during the three months the Domestic Bliss was looking after baby Rosalynd. Some of the paragraphs aren't too bad, but it's never going to be a satisfying read the way it is.
The book mentions white light a lot and bliss only slightly. So I was getting white light during my meditations twenty years ago. It couldn't have been as pronounced then since I remember a big jump in the effects of meditating about fifteen years ago.
I don't know if I really want to embark on another book. I can regard this one as half written. If my new book finds a publisher, then I'll be getting something else ready. I don't want to start a book from scratch since I haven't got the time just now. I want to meditate, but I should try to get some money for my daughter, etc., etc. Hmmm? You shouldn't go half assed into writing a book, or even re-writing one.
I haven't written anything for a year. I'll have to learn again. Make decisions. Will I use semi-colons and all that? Will there be any dwarfs, or elephants?
I'd like to write something amusing about God and death, and yoga, which my agent, if he wants it, can show to an editor for Penguin in the US of A. At least, I've got an agent who will look at it, which is a wee bit better than where I was last year.
I finished reading through The Real McCoy, which I reckon is now nearly twenty years old. How time flies!
Part of the plot is about an evangelical Christian running for the White House. That didn't really seem likely twenty years ago!
Anyway, it was an interesting radio play and I tried to hack a book round it in quicktime so I could become rich and famous, as usual. I think I put the prose round the dialogue during the three months the Domestic Bliss was looking after baby Rosalynd. Some of the paragraphs aren't too bad, but it's never going to be a satisfying read the way it is.
The book mentions white light a lot and bliss only slightly. So I was getting white light during my meditations twenty years ago. It couldn't have been as pronounced then since I remember a big jump in the effects of meditating about fifteen years ago.
I don't know if I really want to embark on another book. I can regard this one as half written. If my new book finds a publisher, then I'll be getting something else ready. I don't want to start a book from scratch since I haven't got the time just now. I want to meditate, but I should try to get some money for my daughter, etc., etc. Hmmm? You shouldn't go half assed into writing a book, or even re-writing one.
I haven't written anything for a year. I'll have to learn again. Make decisions. Will I use semi-colons and all that? Will there be any dwarfs, or elephants?
I'd like to write something amusing about God and death, and yoga, which my agent, if he wants it, can show to an editor for Penguin in the US of A. At least, I've got an agent who will look at it, which is a wee bit better than where I was last year.
Sunday, 26 August 2007
Rem Ecstaticnesses!
Sunday 1:40 p.m.
This here is RaBadBoyBlissheid come to the computery thing to insult and further inform flatheids, the too dumb to meditate and Jack The Spam Robot, about ra bliss, ra rapture and ra ecstasy to be enjoyed whilst practising the juju of jujus, the great vajrayana!
"When the energies in rasana and lalana
Enter the central channel avadhuti
Ecstasy (is experienced)." Milarepa.
The end result of straightforward calming meditations is physical bliss and mental ecstasy.
This is no longer a theory, or something from some malicious lying basturn just taking the michael. Like raising inner heat ... although I'm still pretty useless at it ... is no longer a rumour, or mere speculation, or something that just occurs in books.
If you are determined to go through this life like a moron, with your head jammed up your backside, and never meditate, you will not have to concern yourself with the distinction between ra bliss and ecstasy because you will almost certainly experience neither.
How excellent it is to be in one's fifty sixth year and wondering if that could be described as ecstasy or am I still with ra bliss? Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss!
In the meditations so far today there has been such calmness and contentedness and satiation. It's as if I have turned another corner. Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss!
9:40 p.m.
I meditated till just after five and then donned the Beer Monster Reduction Vehicle for the training session. I'm quite fit for a old fat basturn. Then we strolled up to the allotment and I meditated again. The meditations were amazing today. No bother at all in sitting in the lobby practically all day from about ten in the morning. I was dying for it today because I knew it would be profoundly blissful; oddly enthusiastic.
If I just close my eyes, I'm away with ra bliss. The great globule, the envelope, sheath, the thing that creepeth uppeth; that thing the flatheids can't feel, is full of ra bliss. It radiates bliss in the background. You just close your eyes and there it is. And hardly anybody meditates. They don't even know they're flatheids. Dearie me.
I'd like to go back to my own planet now, Jack. This is your planet, Hotboy. Well, could I swop it for another planet, one with no Monday morning in it, please? Oh, to be unemployable instead of just almost.
This here is RaBadBoyBlissheid come to the computery thing to insult and further inform flatheids, the too dumb to meditate and Jack The Spam Robot, about ra bliss, ra rapture and ra ecstasy to be enjoyed whilst practising the juju of jujus, the great vajrayana!
"When the energies in rasana and lalana
Enter the central channel avadhuti
Ecstasy (is experienced)." Milarepa.
The end result of straightforward calming meditations is physical bliss and mental ecstasy.
This is no longer a theory, or something from some malicious lying basturn just taking the michael. Like raising inner heat ... although I'm still pretty useless at it ... is no longer a rumour, or mere speculation, or something that just occurs in books.
If you are determined to go through this life like a moron, with your head jammed up your backside, and never meditate, you will not have to concern yourself with the distinction between ra bliss and ecstasy because you will almost certainly experience neither.
How excellent it is to be in one's fifty sixth year and wondering if that could be described as ecstasy or am I still with ra bliss? Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss!
In the meditations so far today there has been such calmness and contentedness and satiation. It's as if I have turned another corner. Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss!
9:40 p.m.
I meditated till just after five and then donned the Beer Monster Reduction Vehicle for the training session. I'm quite fit for a old fat basturn. Then we strolled up to the allotment and I meditated again. The meditations were amazing today. No bother at all in sitting in the lobby practically all day from about ten in the morning. I was dying for it today because I knew it would be profoundly blissful; oddly enthusiastic.
If I just close my eyes, I'm away with ra bliss. The great globule, the envelope, sheath, the thing that creepeth uppeth; that thing the flatheids can't feel, is full of ra bliss. It radiates bliss in the background. You just close your eyes and there it is. And hardly anybody meditates. They don't even know they're flatheids. Dearie me.
I'd like to go back to my own planet now, Jack. This is your planet, Hotboy. Well, could I swop it for another planet, one with no Monday morning in it, please? Oh, to be unemployable instead of just almost.
Saturday, 25 August 2007
Ra Church News!
Saturday 1:40 p.m.
Have any other churches, apart from the Amazing Bloggy Church of the Bad Boy Blissheid, been able to claim a 100% success rate at getting their members into ecstasy? I'm a wonderment in my own lunchtime, so I am!
Jack, how come I haven't got a huge queue of flatheids wanting to join this church then? Well, Hotboy, they didn't get ra bliss. How do you expect them to understand ra ecstasy? Hmmm? Do you think it would help if I reduced the take from 10% to 5%? No, Hotboy. It looks as if you're going to remain the most fortunate creature in the blogosphere that you know of. What a fortunate creature I must be then, Jack! What a fortunate creature!
Have any other churches, apart from the Amazing Bloggy Church of the Bad Boy Blissheid, been able to claim a 100% success rate at getting their members into ecstasy? I'm a wonderment in my own lunchtime, so I am!
Jack, how come I haven't got a huge queue of flatheids wanting to join this church then? Well, Hotboy, they didn't get ra bliss. How do you expect them to understand ra ecstasy? Hmmm? Do you think it would help if I reduced the take from 10% to 5%? No, Hotboy. It looks as if you're going to remain the most fortunate creature in the blogosphere that you know of. What a fortunate creature I must be then, Jack! What a fortunate creature!
Thursday, 23 August 2007
Ra Ecstasy!
Thursday 9:00 p.m.
What a beautiful sunny day it was! I meditated for a couple of hours in the morning and then went to meditate in the allotment. It's great when the sun's out and you can side at the side with the clip-on shades, etc. What an amount of ra bliss!
I was going to go up and see the festival goers and all the stuff up the High Street after lunch. Banana on toast. A deathless delight! Then I read the Times. I had a cannybliss yogurt before I sat down again. That was a serious error. I was moving from ra bliss to ecstasy ... there has to be another label here ... it was passed ra bliss. It was bordering on ecstasy, but there must have been a tottie wee bit too much breathing going on so we won't call it ecstasy because some day we'll need a stronger word and there won't be one. It felt like ecstasy though. Ecstasy will just be another scale. So I hit another scale today.
Then the cannybliss yogurt came on. This takes about an hour and a half. Bugger!
I felt great up at the High Street. It was hot. I sat on a wall across from Saint Giles Cathedral and did ra bliss sometimes; sometimes had my eyes closed; sometimes open. I felt a bit dazed from the cannybliss yogurt, but with the clip-on shades nobody knows your name.
Purification and accumulation. It was the purification that put me into the ecstasy. So I've just started on a can of wifebeater and then I'll have the three bottles of Erdinger. And a good time.
Watch you don't try too hard, Hotboy! Fung off, Jack!
What a beautiful sunny day it was! I meditated for a couple of hours in the morning and then went to meditate in the allotment. It's great when the sun's out and you can side at the side with the clip-on shades, etc. What an amount of ra bliss!
I was going to go up and see the festival goers and all the stuff up the High Street after lunch. Banana on toast. A deathless delight! Then I read the Times. I had a cannybliss yogurt before I sat down again. That was a serious error. I was moving from ra bliss to ecstasy ... there has to be another label here ... it was passed ra bliss. It was bordering on ecstasy, but there must have been a tottie wee bit too much breathing going on so we won't call it ecstasy because some day we'll need a stronger word and there won't be one. It felt like ecstasy though. Ecstasy will just be another scale. So I hit another scale today.
Then the cannybliss yogurt came on. This takes about an hour and a half. Bugger!
I felt great up at the High Street. It was hot. I sat on a wall across from Saint Giles Cathedral and did ra bliss sometimes; sometimes had my eyes closed; sometimes open. I felt a bit dazed from the cannybliss yogurt, but with the clip-on shades nobody knows your name.
Purification and accumulation. It was the purification that put me into the ecstasy. So I've just started on a can of wifebeater and then I'll have the three bottles of Erdinger. And a good time.
Watch you don't try too hard, Hotboy! Fung off, Jack!
Wednesday, 22 August 2007
Ra Child of Wednesday Night!
Wednesday 11:50 p.m.
It was the summer we never had when I wakened up on the couch, having crashed for two straight hours after posting last. So I went out to the Botanics.
It was just the same as last summer when the weather was like the best summetimes should be. I went to the same part of the Botanics and rolled up my shirt to sit on because the ground is so damp these days. I had on the clip on shades and faced the way I would have last summer when I went there to meditate many afternoons ago.
That's the way you can tell if the time has made much of a difference; see if the juju is really working. I just had the most wonderful time sitting there. There's been lots of progress since I got the literary agent and decided to get into the purification a bit more; got the Medicine Buddha empowerment; and got my ears bashed in the gong thumping ten days down at the Samye Ling. Lots of progress. That really just means that I was having an even more wonderful time than I was having last summer, and that seemed pretty wonderful at the time. Being able to do such amount of ra bliss is a fabulous facility indeed.
Property Is Theft by Proudon is all about inter-connectedness, if I remember aright. How many people did it take to make the computer? How can you really own something which has taken millions of human beings to produce? So I'm sitting there in the Botanical Gardens knowing I cannot take ownership of this. If anything was ever so dependently arising.
It's the same as writing novels. You can only claim the wee tottie bit at the end. You didn't invent the language and somebody taught you how to read and write, just for starters.
So thanks for the flatheids who keep everything ticking over in this society so I can end up in the Botanic Gardens, sitting there doing ra bliss in spades. The one thing I did right in this life was teach myself to meditate. There wasn't really anything else I needed to do. Just learn how to meditate and stick with it. Unfortunately, if you don't meditate, you don't get ra bliss. Flatheids just don't get ra bliss, Jack. What a shame! How could you not like bliss?
It was the summer we never had when I wakened up on the couch, having crashed for two straight hours after posting last. So I went out to the Botanics.
It was just the same as last summer when the weather was like the best summetimes should be. I went to the same part of the Botanics and rolled up my shirt to sit on because the ground is so damp these days. I had on the clip on shades and faced the way I would have last summer when I went there to meditate many afternoons ago.
That's the way you can tell if the time has made much of a difference; see if the juju is really working. I just had the most wonderful time sitting there. There's been lots of progress since I got the literary agent and decided to get into the purification a bit more; got the Medicine Buddha empowerment; and got my ears bashed in the gong thumping ten days down at the Samye Ling. Lots of progress. That really just means that I was having an even more wonderful time than I was having last summer, and that seemed pretty wonderful at the time. Being able to do such amount of ra bliss is a fabulous facility indeed.
Property Is Theft by Proudon is all about inter-connectedness, if I remember aright. How many people did it take to make the computer? How can you really own something which has taken millions of human beings to produce? So I'm sitting there in the Botanical Gardens knowing I cannot take ownership of this. If anything was ever so dependently arising.
It's the same as writing novels. You can only claim the wee tottie bit at the end. You didn't invent the language and somebody taught you how to read and write, just for starters.
So thanks for the flatheids who keep everything ticking over in this society so I can end up in the Botanic Gardens, sitting there doing ra bliss in spades. The one thing I did right in this life was teach myself to meditate. There wasn't really anything else I needed to do. Just learn how to meditate and stick with it. Unfortunately, if you don't meditate, you don't get ra bliss. Flatheids just don't get ra bliss, Jack. What a shame! How could you not like bliss?
Ra Numpty Bye, Bye!
Wednesday 1:20 p.m.
Hello, Jack the Spam Robot! The Masai Warriors, Alien Creatures from Outer Space, and any other flatheids who are too dumb to meditate and who don't mind coming here to be insulted, hello!
Hotboy has left the jobbie behind till next Monday and I am not the slightest bit furious at all. I must admit that I heard something at the start of the week that made me so incandescent with rage that I was unable to clicky clicky on the computery thing for several seconds. Anyone who has read my new book will maybe have had the impression that I think those numpties responsible for public education in this fair city deserve to be boiled in oil ... well, it was worse than that. The unbelievably stupid decision. They should have the skin flayed off their backs before being boiled in oil.
I thought I could write thenewbook2 starting right here, but after several hours of meditation that night, I was over it. I'm just a part time support worker and shouldn't think above my salary grade. Certainly not. Morons run the education of the poor and the ordinary in this town.They're so stupid there's no point in even talking to them.
People who know me, being mostly the progeny of the evil bourgeois, probably think I'm a bit of a commie, but who with any money and any sense would send their precious children to a bog standard comprehensive in this town? A rich idiot?
Dearie me!
But what a wonderful start to today! What great dollops and megadoses of ra bliss I had to put up with this morning as I meditated before going to the jobbie! And these next few days are going to be just bloody wonderful every time I sit down to do the juju.
I knew it was only the drink and drugs that were keeping my feet on terra firma. I told any flatheids who would listen (Hello, Jack!) that as soon as I stopped with the drink and drugs I would become unbearably cheerful and euphoric. And this is the start of it. This is Day One!
You should ask yourself at this point if you can get right out of your face on air. Can you? How about closing your eyes and succumbing to the megabliss? You can't do that either! It's unbelievable that everyone can't do this. Flatheids to the left of me! Flatheids to the right of me!
All I have to do is keep the flatheids at bay as much as possible. Also, never believe a single thought I have. Especially when I'm tired. Especially the one that tells me to go and get some Erdinger because I need a break from the wonderments. As far as I can tell, only Saturday evening has been taken away from me. The rest is all mine, Jack! All mine! All mine! Even the sun has started to shine. What a fortunate creature I am, I am! What a fortunate creature I am!
Hello, Jack the Spam Robot! The Masai Warriors, Alien Creatures from Outer Space, and any other flatheids who are too dumb to meditate and who don't mind coming here to be insulted, hello!
Hotboy has left the jobbie behind till next Monday and I am not the slightest bit furious at all. I must admit that I heard something at the start of the week that made me so incandescent with rage that I was unable to clicky clicky on the computery thing for several seconds. Anyone who has read my new book will maybe have had the impression that I think those numpties responsible for public education in this fair city deserve to be boiled in oil ... well, it was worse than that. The unbelievably stupid decision. They should have the skin flayed off their backs before being boiled in oil.
I thought I could write thenewbook2 starting right here, but after several hours of meditation that night, I was over it. I'm just a part time support worker and shouldn't think above my salary grade. Certainly not. Morons run the education of the poor and the ordinary in this town.They're so stupid there's no point in even talking to them.
People who know me, being mostly the progeny of the evil bourgeois, probably think I'm a bit of a commie, but who with any money and any sense would send their precious children to a bog standard comprehensive in this town? A rich idiot?
Dearie me!
But what a wonderful start to today! What great dollops and megadoses of ra bliss I had to put up with this morning as I meditated before going to the jobbie! And these next few days are going to be just bloody wonderful every time I sit down to do the juju.
I knew it was only the drink and drugs that were keeping my feet on terra firma. I told any flatheids who would listen (Hello, Jack!) that as soon as I stopped with the drink and drugs I would become unbearably cheerful and euphoric. And this is the start of it. This is Day One!
You should ask yourself at this point if you can get right out of your face on air. Can you? How about closing your eyes and succumbing to the megabliss? You can't do that either! It's unbelievable that everyone can't do this. Flatheids to the left of me! Flatheids to the right of me!
All I have to do is keep the flatheids at bay as much as possible. Also, never believe a single thought I have. Especially when I'm tired. Especially the one that tells me to go and get some Erdinger because I need a break from the wonderments. As far as I can tell, only Saturday evening has been taken away from me. The rest is all mine, Jack! All mine! All mine! Even the sun has started to shine. What a fortunate creature I am, I am! What a fortunate creature I am!
Sunday, 19 August 2007
Ra Sunday's Child!
Sunday 8:20 p.m.
After a week of no drink or drugs, I've just come back from buying myself a can of wifebeater (cold) and several bottles of Erdinger (in the freezer now!)
When I haven't been meditating, sometimes I've felt exhausted and I don't know why. Well, I've been trying too hard, methinks. Too much of the rod to the back here, Jack. Oh, you might say. Oh again! He goes to work for two and a half days a week and he's exhausted. Try working down the fung pits and see how exhausted you are!
I don't think I've got a disease. It must be trying too hard when I'm doing this juju. The mind has to be like a guitar string: not too tight and not too slack. (I don't think they had guitars in the Buddha's time, but you know what I mean!).
I tried to socialise yesterday. I cycled in the rain to see my chum Poisonous. It's not far, but I was lying there on his carpet being exhausted. Poisonous was quite animated for Poisonous, and then Shiva showed up and he was positively chipper. When I got back to the flat, I lay on the couch and felt that clingy way you can be when you're exhausted, then did ra bliss and fell into a deep sleep. The Domestic Bliss wakened me up to go to the movies, which I'd agreed to do since it's cheap and I wasn't going to have any drugs or drink.
We never got in. So we went to see Transformers which seemed to star the captain of the Rangers Football team, or his wee brother. There's a bit at the end of this movie which is too long with too much shooty shooty and too many motor cars flying through the air. Being still exhausted, I closed my eyes for a moment or two.
A lot of funny stuff happens in your body when you're doing the vajrayana. It's not even the body that a flatheid would recognise, but a lot of funny stuff happens in there anyway. Maybe that was making me exhausted, I thought. Some weird shit going on that exhausts you. Good and bad stuff can happen, the boy says.
I thought it was worth it. It's so amazingly wonderful to be doing this vajrayana juju that almost anything is. So you get a bit tired as well. Overtired. Your guitar string is too tight. Well, a few beers, and tomorrow I'll still moida da bums!
With acknowledgements to the digger who's name I couldn't find on google on Saturday morning, I thought of this. This is maybe why I've never tried to write poetry....
As I rode into Ballarat
I met a man whose heid was flat
When I asked him if he could be told
He said those hills are just as old as yonder plains
And that was that!
After a week of no drink or drugs, I've just come back from buying myself a can of wifebeater (cold) and several bottles of Erdinger (in the freezer now!)
When I haven't been meditating, sometimes I've felt exhausted and I don't know why. Well, I've been trying too hard, methinks. Too much of the rod to the back here, Jack. Oh, you might say. Oh again! He goes to work for two and a half days a week and he's exhausted. Try working down the fung pits and see how exhausted you are!
I don't think I've got a disease. It must be trying too hard when I'm doing this juju. The mind has to be like a guitar string: not too tight and not too slack. (I don't think they had guitars in the Buddha's time, but you know what I mean!).
I tried to socialise yesterday. I cycled in the rain to see my chum Poisonous. It's not far, but I was lying there on his carpet being exhausted. Poisonous was quite animated for Poisonous, and then Shiva showed up and he was positively chipper. When I got back to the flat, I lay on the couch and felt that clingy way you can be when you're exhausted, then did ra bliss and fell into a deep sleep. The Domestic Bliss wakened me up to go to the movies, which I'd agreed to do since it's cheap and I wasn't going to have any drugs or drink.
We never got in. So we went to see Transformers which seemed to star the captain of the Rangers Football team, or his wee brother. There's a bit at the end of this movie which is too long with too much shooty shooty and too many motor cars flying through the air. Being still exhausted, I closed my eyes for a moment or two.
A lot of funny stuff happens in your body when you're doing the vajrayana. It's not even the body that a flatheid would recognise, but a lot of funny stuff happens in there anyway. Maybe that was making me exhausted, I thought. Some weird shit going on that exhausts you. Good and bad stuff can happen, the boy says.
I thought it was worth it. It's so amazingly wonderful to be doing this vajrayana juju that almost anything is. So you get a bit tired as well. Overtired. Your guitar string is too tight. Well, a few beers, and tomorrow I'll still moida da bums!
With acknowledgements to the digger who's name I couldn't find on google on Saturday morning, I thought of this. This is maybe why I've never tried to write poetry....
As I rode into Ballarat
I met a man whose heid was flat
When I asked him if he could be told
He said those hills are just as old as yonder plains
And that was that!
Friday, 17 August 2007
Ra Journey!
Friday 5:55 p.m.
The train journey to Bellshill takes about an hour and a half. I've got my eyes closed almost all the way. There's a kind of timelessness in this kind of bliss. I did the elemental collapse that the Tibetans say occurs after you've died. The mirage, clouds, etc. Then you're left with the dharmakaya. Ground zero. I think this must be the clear light mind.
"When we can see, straightforwardly and non-conceptually, the nature of our clear light mind and remain forever absorbed in that nature without ever having to regress from it, we have become a buddha." Dalai Lama. The Wall.
The deity yoga juju is just a skillful means to help you on your road.
Mind is described in this tradition as like space except with the ability to know; cognizing. It is also without characteristics, containing everything and obstructing nothing.
You maybe can have as many heavens and hells as you can think of then. They arise in mind, abide in mind and decline in mind.
But they're not really there, Hotboy. I know, Jack. They're not really there. But we're not really here, not the way we think we are anyway. Like the moon's reflection on water. Like images seen in a dream; thus must we regard all things.
I'd like to be able to explain a heaven to my auld maw that I could be convincing about.
Sitting meditating while listening to the Dharmapada with my auld maw is becoming a hightlight of my week. I latched onto it today when the buddha told me to stay away from flatheids. " ... free from bias and radiant, he will become cool even in this life."
My auntie Kathy says my auld maw is less crabbit after she's been meditating. My auntie Kathy might think listening to the CD with me is meditating, and she might be right.
So I had a wee bit of an insight into emptiness while travelling to Bellshill today. And I had a good idea about how to deal with the conversation Jacob Merryweather has with God in The Real McCoy for when I can find the time to start the re-write. Felt very enthusiastic about the re-write afterwards. How can I find the time while I'm stuck in this jobbie? I'd rather meditate of course. But I might have to write something that I can sell so I can give up the jobbie. Hmmm?
The new electronic signboard on Bellshill station platform still says: Welcome to Bellshill. It's never said anything else. The digital time thing on it was seven hours out today as usual. When did school teachers start running the railways?
The train journey to Bellshill takes about an hour and a half. I've got my eyes closed almost all the way. There's a kind of timelessness in this kind of bliss. I did the elemental collapse that the Tibetans say occurs after you've died. The mirage, clouds, etc. Then you're left with the dharmakaya. Ground zero. I think this must be the clear light mind.
"When we can see, straightforwardly and non-conceptually, the nature of our clear light mind and remain forever absorbed in that nature without ever having to regress from it, we have become a buddha." Dalai Lama. The Wall.
The deity yoga juju is just a skillful means to help you on your road.
Mind is described in this tradition as like space except with the ability to know; cognizing. It is also without characteristics, containing everything and obstructing nothing.
You maybe can have as many heavens and hells as you can think of then. They arise in mind, abide in mind and decline in mind.
But they're not really there, Hotboy. I know, Jack. They're not really there. But we're not really here, not the way we think we are anyway. Like the moon's reflection on water. Like images seen in a dream; thus must we regard all things.
I'd like to be able to explain a heaven to my auld maw that I could be convincing about.
Sitting meditating while listening to the Dharmapada with my auld maw is becoming a hightlight of my week. I latched onto it today when the buddha told me to stay away from flatheids. " ... free from bias and radiant, he will become cool even in this life."
My auntie Kathy says my auld maw is less crabbit after she's been meditating. My auntie Kathy might think listening to the CD with me is meditating, and she might be right.
So I had a wee bit of an insight into emptiness while travelling to Bellshill today. And I had a good idea about how to deal with the conversation Jacob Merryweather has with God in The Real McCoy for when I can find the time to start the re-write. Felt very enthusiastic about the re-write afterwards. How can I find the time while I'm stuck in this jobbie? I'd rather meditate of course. But I might have to write something that I can sell so I can give up the jobbie. Hmmm?
The new electronic signboard on Bellshill station platform still says: Welcome to Bellshill. It's never said anything else. The digital time thing on it was seven hours out today as usual. When did school teachers start running the railways?
Thursday, 16 August 2007
Ra Reclamation!
Thursday 6 p.m.
I'm just back from the allotment and what a fabulous time was had by all! When I was meditating in the hut, I didn't know how long I was meditating for and didn't care. I was just using a mantra sometimes, and sometimes not. My eyes were closed and I was hardly breathing at all. What a stupendous amount of ra bliss there was! And there was no crabbitness at all!
I slept for a bit, just lying there on the not too tidy floor of the hut, then meditated again in the great oodles of ra bliss. That's more like it! It was as good as the meditations at the Samye Ling. At least as good. Yippee!!
So I have now recovered from the visit of the flatheids last weekend and the going back to the jobbie after six weeks off.
Apart from the hangover, going back to the jobbie was even more difficult due to seeing the faint glimmer of an escape route in the far distance. My literary agent said there was a wee publisher interested in the novel. This was out of the blue and just when I'd about given up on it. It came from the business he did at the London Book Fair. The wee publisher's external reader apparently thought the book was "fantastic," whatever that means. Anyway, I was stupidly hoping that I might hear something positive about that before going back to the jobbie, but there's been no news. I know it's even ridiculous to be bothered. A small independent publisher probably means a small lot of money anyway. Still...
I was so out of sorts on Tuesday and Wednesday, I read a novel, or finished one. Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson. The descriptions of the subsidiary characters by R.L.S. are just completely brilliant. Most of them are complete basturns as well, and almost all of them drunkards. I'm going to have to read Treasure Island again.
This evening I shall have a dinner of tatties, onions and fried eggs. I shall shadow box and have a wonderful bath, and start reading The Real McCoy; and when the day grows dark, boy, will I have me a meditation! What a fortunate, fortunate creature I am, I am! What a fortunate creature I am!
10:40 p.m.
Since I broke off for lunch, this has been a really great day. Everything has gone so well. I've managed to do about eight hours meditating and the day isn't finished yet. Ra bliss this evening before and after the shadowboxing was just wonderful, wonderful, wonderful! I didn't manage to find the time to start reading The Real McCoy, but c'est la vie. I'm sober and straight and happy. If I can have a Sunday like this, even the jobbie will be a delight! May all sentient beings be happy and night, night from RaBadBoyBLissheid!
I'm just back from the allotment and what a fabulous time was had by all! When I was meditating in the hut, I didn't know how long I was meditating for and didn't care. I was just using a mantra sometimes, and sometimes not. My eyes were closed and I was hardly breathing at all. What a stupendous amount of ra bliss there was! And there was no crabbitness at all!
I slept for a bit, just lying there on the not too tidy floor of the hut, then meditated again in the great oodles of ra bliss. That's more like it! It was as good as the meditations at the Samye Ling. At least as good. Yippee!!
So I have now recovered from the visit of the flatheids last weekend and the going back to the jobbie after six weeks off.
Apart from the hangover, going back to the jobbie was even more difficult due to seeing the faint glimmer of an escape route in the far distance. My literary agent said there was a wee publisher interested in the novel. This was out of the blue and just when I'd about given up on it. It came from the business he did at the London Book Fair. The wee publisher's external reader apparently thought the book was "fantastic," whatever that means. Anyway, I was stupidly hoping that I might hear something positive about that before going back to the jobbie, but there's been no news. I know it's even ridiculous to be bothered. A small independent publisher probably means a small lot of money anyway. Still...
I was so out of sorts on Tuesday and Wednesday, I read a novel, or finished one. Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson. The descriptions of the subsidiary characters by R.L.S. are just completely brilliant. Most of them are complete basturns as well, and almost all of them drunkards. I'm going to have to read Treasure Island again.
This evening I shall have a dinner of tatties, onions and fried eggs. I shall shadow box and have a wonderful bath, and start reading The Real McCoy; and when the day grows dark, boy, will I have me a meditation! What a fortunate, fortunate creature I am, I am! What a fortunate creature I am!
10:40 p.m.
Since I broke off for lunch, this has been a really great day. Everything has gone so well. I've managed to do about eight hours meditating and the day isn't finished yet. Ra bliss this evening before and after the shadowboxing was just wonderful, wonderful, wonderful! I didn't manage to find the time to start reading The Real McCoy, but c'est la vie. I'm sober and straight and happy. If I can have a Sunday like this, even the jobbie will be a delight! May all sentient beings be happy and night, night from RaBadBoyBLissheid!
Ra Current Meditations.
Thursday 10:50 a.m.
The first hour and a half meditation today went well as far as ra bliss and heat was concerned, but was underlined by such an amount of crabbitness that I thought I come and try to blog some of it away.
I'll detail how I practise these days first of all, so this is really of no interest to flatheids. If you don't meditate, just fung off and blow your brains out, eh?
Totally crabbit today! Irritation latching onto all kinds of things. Last night I couldn't sleep for getting annoyed (at nothing, of course) and this just shows how far I've fallen back since the last load of flatheids came to visit and funged up my chances to meditate last weekend. Anyway ...
I'm going to write down my meditation sequence just now as a kind of record for myself. Talk about over-elaborate. I'll cut to the chase when I finish here.
I start with a list of gurus, visualising them in front and then getting them over my head and bringing them through my body as a white, purifying "substance". These are in order: Lama Yeshe, Dr Akong, Teresa, Dalai Lama, Kalu Rinpoche, 16th Karmapa, 17th Karmapa (see you in Rumtek!), Lama Thebten Yeshe, Lama Yeshe again. Then Jesus Christ's head from the Turin Shroud.
In the re-write of The Real McCoy I'm going to invent a church for the boy who can float. It should be not dissimilar to The Amazing Bloggy Church of the Bad Boy Blissheid, but I might call it The Disbelieving Congregation of Christ the Buddhist for the sake of the novel.
It would be a step forward if somebody would start to take Christ away from the Christians. That son of God crap just blew the whole thing out the water. What a bunch of flatheids!
Compassion and altruism is the basis of the path. Let all sentient beings be happy. Then it's onto the visualisation of dead relatives and friends, and some people I really didn't get on with too well, but who are dead. If you don't get on with me, you die, you flatheided basturns!
There are at least seventeen dead people on this list and not one of them got down to ra bliss. Not one of them got emptiness even on an intellectual level. What a waste of human beingness! Fung off flatheids!
Then I go through the dying process as recounted by the Tibetans. Mirage, clouds, etc., etc. I am the dharmakaya. That's ground zero. Then go blue and put in the symbols and the red and white tubes.
I'm doing vase breathing at times throughout this and the crabbitness is still jumping out of me. But your concentration doesn't need to be too good for vase breathing to work and there's crabbitness, ra bliss and heat. Of course, because my mind isn't really calm enough, it's not very satisfactory.
Then I start the Medicine Buddha juju. Basically, I'm skighting through the generation stage and getting down to the red navel symbol.
You're going to go to hell, Hotboy! Fung it, Jack! I might go to hell, but it won't be me!
In the book of the Cincinatti Kid, the Steve McQueen character goes through mental routines before he goes to play the man. The guy is uneducated, but I think he goes through the multiplication tables both ways, backwards and forwards, up to about sixteen times sixteen, I think.
If you've got a long time to meditate maybe you can do stuff like I've described. At least it monitors your concentration levels and how clear your mind is.
When I go back to the lobby, I'll try not think that I've now lost all tomorrow. The auld maw during the day is fine. But after that folk are coming for a meal and then I've to go to see an ancient greek play.
Anyone who wants to put on an ancient greek play, no doubt with a modern interprative spin, should be forced to eat cyanide pills. It'll be a big production with a star flashing his bum at us all. I keep telling the social secretary not to pick drama for me, but does she ever listen ... I'd much rather go and see two actors with one chair for a set playing fifteen characters each. Much rather! Much rathe drink piss!
Nearly half eleven. This is one of the best times for me to meditate. This time it's Medicine Buddha juju. And down to the navel symbol as quick as possible.
It's still going to be a wonderful day.
1:50 p.m.
You've got to let it go, Hotboy. I know that, Jack. It's going. It's going. I wish it had never been there to start with. Where did it come from? It arose in emptiness. It abides in emptiness. Fortunately, it's almost declined entirely. If I can get half an hour up the allotment now anything like the time I had at the Samye Ling, then I'd settle for that. Expect nothing. Just keep pracitising as the man said!
The first hour and a half meditation today went well as far as ra bliss and heat was concerned, but was underlined by such an amount of crabbitness that I thought I come and try to blog some of it away.
I'll detail how I practise these days first of all, so this is really of no interest to flatheids. If you don't meditate, just fung off and blow your brains out, eh?
Totally crabbit today! Irritation latching onto all kinds of things. Last night I couldn't sleep for getting annoyed (at nothing, of course) and this just shows how far I've fallen back since the last load of flatheids came to visit and funged up my chances to meditate last weekend. Anyway ...
I'm going to write down my meditation sequence just now as a kind of record for myself. Talk about over-elaborate. I'll cut to the chase when I finish here.
I start with a list of gurus, visualising them in front and then getting them over my head and bringing them through my body as a white, purifying "substance". These are in order: Lama Yeshe, Dr Akong, Teresa, Dalai Lama, Kalu Rinpoche, 16th Karmapa, 17th Karmapa (see you in Rumtek!), Lama Thebten Yeshe, Lama Yeshe again. Then Jesus Christ's head from the Turin Shroud.
In the re-write of The Real McCoy I'm going to invent a church for the boy who can float. It should be not dissimilar to The Amazing Bloggy Church of the Bad Boy Blissheid, but I might call it The Disbelieving Congregation of Christ the Buddhist for the sake of the novel.
It would be a step forward if somebody would start to take Christ away from the Christians. That son of God crap just blew the whole thing out the water. What a bunch of flatheids!
Compassion and altruism is the basis of the path. Let all sentient beings be happy. Then it's onto the visualisation of dead relatives and friends, and some people I really didn't get on with too well, but who are dead. If you don't get on with me, you die, you flatheided basturns!
There are at least seventeen dead people on this list and not one of them got down to ra bliss. Not one of them got emptiness even on an intellectual level. What a waste of human beingness! Fung off flatheids!
Then I go through the dying process as recounted by the Tibetans. Mirage, clouds, etc., etc. I am the dharmakaya. That's ground zero. Then go blue and put in the symbols and the red and white tubes.
I'm doing vase breathing at times throughout this and the crabbitness is still jumping out of me. But your concentration doesn't need to be too good for vase breathing to work and there's crabbitness, ra bliss and heat. Of course, because my mind isn't really calm enough, it's not very satisfactory.
Then I start the Medicine Buddha juju. Basically, I'm skighting through the generation stage and getting down to the red navel symbol.
You're going to go to hell, Hotboy! Fung it, Jack! I might go to hell, but it won't be me!
In the book of the Cincinatti Kid, the Steve McQueen character goes through mental routines before he goes to play the man. The guy is uneducated, but I think he goes through the multiplication tables both ways, backwards and forwards, up to about sixteen times sixteen, I think.
If you've got a long time to meditate maybe you can do stuff like I've described. At least it monitors your concentration levels and how clear your mind is.
When I go back to the lobby, I'll try not think that I've now lost all tomorrow. The auld maw during the day is fine. But after that folk are coming for a meal and then I've to go to see an ancient greek play.
Anyone who wants to put on an ancient greek play, no doubt with a modern interprative spin, should be forced to eat cyanide pills. It'll be a big production with a star flashing his bum at us all. I keep telling the social secretary not to pick drama for me, but does she ever listen ... I'd much rather go and see two actors with one chair for a set playing fifteen characters each. Much rather! Much rathe drink piss!
Nearly half eleven. This is one of the best times for me to meditate. This time it's Medicine Buddha juju. And down to the navel symbol as quick as possible.
It's still going to be a wonderful day.
1:50 p.m.
You've got to let it go, Hotboy. I know that, Jack. It's going. It's going. I wish it had never been there to start with. Where did it come from? It arose in emptiness. It abides in emptiness. Fortunately, it's almost declined entirely. If I can get half an hour up the allotment now anything like the time I had at the Samye Ling, then I'd settle for that. Expect nothing. Just keep pracitising as the man said!
Wednesday, 15 August 2007
Rah want to be alone!
4:10 p.m.
Being Wednesday afternoon,and the start of my weekend, I had to check the state of mind as I left the jobbie today. Really tired and crabbit, and not good at all.
I put some elastoplast on the fractured mind by doing two hours in the lobby. This reminded me of ra bliss, and ra heat, and ra rapture, which I will surely experience to an even greater extent tomorrow. For tomorrow is mine, all mine! Tomorrow the Domestic Bliss goes out in the evening and I don't have to see anyone all day. Flatheids work on the Thursday and they never bother you then. What a wonderful prospect!
By looking out the window I can see that the skies might open and great droplets of rain fall to the earth any minute. Time to get the rowing boat out, Jack! Row for the allotment and, if it doesn't rain, set fire to newspapers and stare into the flames!
God preserve us from the flatheids, lead us not into temptation, and deliver us from the demon drink, and any decent drugs, amen!
Being Wednesday afternoon,and the start of my weekend, I had to check the state of mind as I left the jobbie today. Really tired and crabbit, and not good at all.
I put some elastoplast on the fractured mind by doing two hours in the lobby. This reminded me of ra bliss, and ra heat, and ra rapture, which I will surely experience to an even greater extent tomorrow. For tomorrow is mine, all mine! Tomorrow the Domestic Bliss goes out in the evening and I don't have to see anyone all day. Flatheids work on the Thursday and they never bother you then. What a wonderful prospect!
By looking out the window I can see that the skies might open and great droplets of rain fall to the earth any minute. Time to get the rowing boat out, Jack! Row for the allotment and, if it doesn't rain, set fire to newspapers and stare into the flames!
God preserve us from the flatheids, lead us not into temptation, and deliver us from the demon drink, and any decent drugs, amen!
Monday, 13 August 2007
Ra Work!
I wakened up this morning at 4 a.m. and didn't get back to sleep before I had to get up and go to the jobbie. During some of this time I prayed to God to let me die before I had to get up at seven. I've had a wonderful life and I'm already five years overdue. I've had my share and I don't really want to live till I'm old. Also, I got drunk yesterday and was slightly hungover. Bad boy!
Oh, to be in the formless zone, I thought. Where thoughts do not form and there are no manuals to read and no microwave ovens.
I thought of what a wonderful life I've had. Paramahansa Yogananda died at about my age. So did the 16th Karmapa. I'm already five years older than my old man ever was. Now that I am back at my jobbie dying seems fine. I don't want to be here. Please let me die now, God. A heart attack or a stoke would do.
8:45 p.m.
After just the one lapse over the five week period of sobriety, I caved in when visitors from the west arrived to stay overnight on Saturday. Then I got pissed yesterday. So I should think that's not too bad, considering. But going to work with a hangover was horrible and I hope it's another five weeks before I have another drink. Dearie me!
Oh, to be in the formless zone, I thought. Where thoughts do not form and there are no manuals to read and no microwave ovens.
I thought of what a wonderful life I've had. Paramahansa Yogananda died at about my age. So did the 16th Karmapa. I'm already five years older than my old man ever was. Now that I am back at my jobbie dying seems fine. I don't want to be here. Please let me die now, God. A heart attack or a stoke would do.
8:45 p.m.
After just the one lapse over the five week period of sobriety, I caved in when visitors from the west arrived to stay overnight on Saturday. Then I got pissed yesterday. So I should think that's not too bad, considering. But going to work with a hangover was horrible and I hope it's another five weeks before I have another drink. Dearie me!
Thursday, 9 August 2007
Ra Not So Perfect Day!
Thursday 6 p.m.
In desperation, I phoned Brian Wilson around lunchtime, but so far he's been unable to find anyone to give him a new liver and could not come out to play.
You lost the plot then, Hotboy? Almost, Jack. Almost.
Going off to look at the Festival city yesterday afternoon was not a good idea. The whole experience was very evocative of days gone by.
All the time the kiddo was at primary school, this week was special. We'd collect her wee pal before lunch and after I'd fed them, I'd take them up to see the street performers by the Art Gallery in Princes Street. Perfect entertainment for kids. Then we'd go to the swings at the east end of Princes Street Gardens. I'd buy them a juice if I had the money, but I usually didn't. Memories flooding in of wonderful days before the kiddo went to high school and I got a full time jobbie.
Kind of didn't know where to put myself after that. The six mile run I did on Tuesday had knocked the bejesus out of me, and there's no cannybliss yogurts, and I couldn't have a drink. Didn't feel so good today either. I was ready to go out and get blootered, but the temptation passed when there was no one to get blootered with. So I sat down to meditate in the lobby. I started dozing off and went for a wee lie down on the couch in the living room.
Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss! Dozing off in ra bliss is so wonderful, especially today. How I wish I could go to sleep like that at night. Or waken up. You waken up in ra bliss as well. Fantastic! Then I went into the lobby and the vase breathing there hit new levels. It doesn't usually work like that, especially not at that time of the day.
It's really hard not to believe in your thoughts sometimes, Jack. The internal monologue is a lying basturn, Hotboy. So it is, Jack. Especially when you're tired.
So what do you have to do, Hotboy? Well, Jack, I think after my retreat I've sussed it out. You get the vase breathing to work properly with the melting, blazing and dripping symbols, the woiks! Then you go through the death process and get some control over that. When you're dead, an illusory body pops out. It's superdooper. You get to play around with that when you're alive if you can do this juju, then you can have even more fun when you're dead.
Is that a joke, Hotboy? No, I think that's what they're trying to do, Jack. What about emanating as a deity then? You do that as well, Jack. That's the generation stage. After that, you do the completion stage, which is the going dead bit, etc.
That'll be ten percent off the top, please!
In desperation, I phoned Brian Wilson around lunchtime, but so far he's been unable to find anyone to give him a new liver and could not come out to play.
You lost the plot then, Hotboy? Almost, Jack. Almost.
Going off to look at the Festival city yesterday afternoon was not a good idea. The whole experience was very evocative of days gone by.
All the time the kiddo was at primary school, this week was special. We'd collect her wee pal before lunch and after I'd fed them, I'd take them up to see the street performers by the Art Gallery in Princes Street. Perfect entertainment for kids. Then we'd go to the swings at the east end of Princes Street Gardens. I'd buy them a juice if I had the money, but I usually didn't. Memories flooding in of wonderful days before the kiddo went to high school and I got a full time jobbie.
Kind of didn't know where to put myself after that. The six mile run I did on Tuesday had knocked the bejesus out of me, and there's no cannybliss yogurts, and I couldn't have a drink. Didn't feel so good today either. I was ready to go out and get blootered, but the temptation passed when there was no one to get blootered with. So I sat down to meditate in the lobby. I started dozing off and went for a wee lie down on the couch in the living room.
Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss! Dozing off in ra bliss is so wonderful, especially today. How I wish I could go to sleep like that at night. Or waken up. You waken up in ra bliss as well. Fantastic! Then I went into the lobby and the vase breathing there hit new levels. It doesn't usually work like that, especially not at that time of the day.
It's really hard not to believe in your thoughts sometimes, Jack. The internal monologue is a lying basturn, Hotboy. So it is, Jack. Especially when you're tired.
So what do you have to do, Hotboy? Well, Jack, I think after my retreat I've sussed it out. You get the vase breathing to work properly with the melting, blazing and dripping symbols, the woiks! Then you go through the death process and get some control over that. When you're dead, an illusory body pops out. It's superdooper. You get to play around with that when you're alive if you can do this juju, then you can have even more fun when you're dead.
Is that a joke, Hotboy? No, I think that's what they're trying to do, Jack. What about emanating as a deity then? You do that as well, Jack. That's the generation stage. After that, you do the completion stage, which is the going dead bit, etc.
That'll be ten percent off the top, please!
Wednesday, 8 August 2007
Ra Perfect Day!
Wednesday 11:00 a.m.
Stumbled towards this perfect day. I visited and someone visited me at the weekend. Then, after a great start on Monday, I fell foul of a stonking great horrible head cold. Oh no! I can't bloody do vase breathing through this. Eight hours later, it was gone. Just like that. So on Tuesday I was fit again and then Brian Wilson started pursuing me.
Outlandish claims were made about playing goolf, or going in his motor somewhere scenic to go for a jog. Two years ago Brian and I had a wonderful day binge drinking during the Festival here and I knew that was what he wanted. Just at the crucial moment, when I was trying my best to capitulate, he said he had to go to the third world to buy an new set of internal organs since the drink has worn out his first set. A narrow escape!
By last night, the vase breathing was reaching new heights of blissiness. There was some warmth and pulsating bliss and a fantastic combination of sensations in all the minor and major chords of pleasure. Something for the end of the evening when you've been a good boy and managed to avoid all the traps the flatheids set for you.
The more I get of this, the more I think what a shame it is for the flatheids! Too dumb to meditate and never playing the mind game, it's like driving a Ferrari but never getting out of first gear. Who would ever give up this for flatheidedness? Who wants to be a moron? I'm not sticking my hand up for that one, Jack.
When ra bliss came on so strong shortly after I wakened up this morning, and lay on my side, well, I knew it was going to be a perfect day. I've gotten over the transition to life among the mentally handicapped, and I still haven't had a beer. The cannybliss yogurts ran out last night. Everything is pulling in the one direction now, which is rare. I've got till Friday for myself. Just keep away from the flatheids, Hotboy, and you may get this navel symbol to go hot. Despite the volume of ra bliss, it's not gone hot the way I know it can yet. Boy, am I going to have me a time!
Though the sun splits the trees, I'll stay in the lobby till lunchtime and then foray out for a bit to see the Festival sights up the High Street, etc. On this day, I am truly a fortunate, fortunate creature!
Stumbled towards this perfect day. I visited and someone visited me at the weekend. Then, after a great start on Monday, I fell foul of a stonking great horrible head cold. Oh no! I can't bloody do vase breathing through this. Eight hours later, it was gone. Just like that. So on Tuesday I was fit again and then Brian Wilson started pursuing me.
Outlandish claims were made about playing goolf, or going in his motor somewhere scenic to go for a jog. Two years ago Brian and I had a wonderful day binge drinking during the Festival here and I knew that was what he wanted. Just at the crucial moment, when I was trying my best to capitulate, he said he had to go to the third world to buy an new set of internal organs since the drink has worn out his first set. A narrow escape!
By last night, the vase breathing was reaching new heights of blissiness. There was some warmth and pulsating bliss and a fantastic combination of sensations in all the minor and major chords of pleasure. Something for the end of the evening when you've been a good boy and managed to avoid all the traps the flatheids set for you.
The more I get of this, the more I think what a shame it is for the flatheids! Too dumb to meditate and never playing the mind game, it's like driving a Ferrari but never getting out of first gear. Who would ever give up this for flatheidedness? Who wants to be a moron? I'm not sticking my hand up for that one, Jack.
When ra bliss came on so strong shortly after I wakened up this morning, and lay on my side, well, I knew it was going to be a perfect day. I've gotten over the transition to life among the mentally handicapped, and I still haven't had a beer. The cannybliss yogurts ran out last night. Everything is pulling in the one direction now, which is rare. I've got till Friday for myself. Just keep away from the flatheids, Hotboy, and you may get this navel symbol to go hot. Despite the volume of ra bliss, it's not gone hot the way I know it can yet. Boy, am I going to have me a time!
Though the sun splits the trees, I'll stay in the lobby till lunchtime and then foray out for a bit to see the Festival sights up the High Street, etc. On this day, I am truly a fortunate, fortunate creature!
Sunday, 5 August 2007
Sunday 10:00 p.m.
Tomorrow the supporting deities go back to their places, and I will be able to go up to the hut and assess developments, as one does on a Monday morning.
I haven't had any alcohol for a month now, apart from getting pissed with the guy who can't breath so well, but can still swallow. So no booze for two and a half weeks. But only once in the proceeding week and a half. A complete teetotaller, in fact!
After ten days of sitting on my bum and eating huge lunches, I did my shadow boxing routine on Friday. Dearie, dearie me. So I went out for a six mile run .... no, shuffle on Saturday, but there's nothing like running for knocking the crap out of you. Beautiful places to run through in the right light: Ravelstone Dykes, Craigcrook Crescent. Nice leafy part of town. Felt quite exhilarated maybe just because I wasn't going to die after all, but most enjoyable.
Usually when I return to this planet, there are difficulties in re-adjusting to life among the nutters, but not this time somehow. Hardly noticed the shift. Maybe it's getting pissed as soon as you get out that dislocates your equilibium.
Happy, happy days here. I'm really looking forward to meditating tomorrow for hours and hours and hours. I've still got a week of holiday left. A whole week! Any fantastic eruptions of ra bliss will be reported here first by RaBadBoyBLissheid.
Tomorrow the supporting deities go back to their places, and I will be able to go up to the hut and assess developments, as one does on a Monday morning.
I haven't had any alcohol for a month now, apart from getting pissed with the guy who can't breath so well, but can still swallow. So no booze for two and a half weeks. But only once in the proceeding week and a half. A complete teetotaller, in fact!
After ten days of sitting on my bum and eating huge lunches, I did my shadow boxing routine on Friday. Dearie, dearie me. So I went out for a six mile run .... no, shuffle on Saturday, but there's nothing like running for knocking the crap out of you. Beautiful places to run through in the right light: Ravelstone Dykes, Craigcrook Crescent. Nice leafy part of town. Felt quite exhilarated maybe just because I wasn't going to die after all, but most enjoyable.
Usually when I return to this planet, there are difficulties in re-adjusting to life among the nutters, but not this time somehow. Hardly noticed the shift. Maybe it's getting pissed as soon as you get out that dislocates your equilibium.
Happy, happy days here. I'm really looking forward to meditating tomorrow for hours and hours and hours. I've still got a week of holiday left. A whole week! Any fantastic eruptions of ra bliss will be reported here first by RaBadBoyBLissheid.
Thursday, 2 August 2007
Ra Bye Bye Samye Ling!
12:22 p.m.
This last morning has, of course, been wonderful!I did everything I had to do in the half hour from 9 till 9:30 p.m., including buying my auld maw a statue of the Medicine Buddha. I asked the lama to bless it during the session and I think he did.
There was so much bliss there, and a little heat. There is no place I would rather have been over the past ten days and nothing else I would rather have done. It has been just great!!! So it's bye bye to the Samye Ling from RaBadBoyBLissheid! Hope I get back here before too long!
This last morning has, of course, been wonderful!I did everything I had to do in the half hour from 9 till 9:30 p.m., including buying my auld maw a statue of the Medicine Buddha. I asked the lama to bless it during the session and I think he did.
There was so much bliss there, and a little heat. There is no place I would rather have been over the past ten days and nothing else I would rather have done. It has been just great!!! So it's bye bye to the Samye Ling from RaBadBoyBLissheid! Hope I get back here before too long!
Wednesday, 1 August 2007
Ra Samye Resume!
Wednesday 20:27 p.m.
This is the last post (maybe!) from the Samye, and a definite warning to all flatheids, Alien Creatures from Outer Space, Masai Warriors and spam robots (Hello, Jack!) to be wary of setting foot in this joint! You'll end up walking about with four heads and twelve arms if you don't watch out! This makes getting throught doors really tricky, I'll tell you!
Also, for those spam robots following The Amazing Bloggy Church of the Bad Boy Blissheid's step by step approach to getting out of your face on air, here comes the next step... but to reiterate!
STEP 1: You say Mumbo Jumbo to yourself constantly (this might be any sound you like the sound of, the recommended one being Susquehanna. But Sasperela, or San Franscisco, or Sausages will do just as well) and while you're not doing that you sometimes say: IT'S JUST A LOAD OF OLD PHOTONS!
STEP 1: This is just the same as step 1. You still repeat some Mumbo Jumbo, but when you're not doing that, you say: IT ARISES IN MIND, IT ABIDES IN MIND, IT DECLINES IN MIND!
STEP 3 is the same as steps 1 and 2, except when sometimes you say: IT ARISES IN EMPTINESS, IT ABIDES IN EMPTINESS, IT DECLINES IN EMPTINESS!
STEP 4 will come after I have received ten percent off the top!
Has anyone got a knitting pattern for a jumper with twelve arms and four head holes?
Well, I'll be going home tomorrow! This has been a great retreat!!!
This is the last post (maybe!) from the Samye, and a definite warning to all flatheids, Alien Creatures from Outer Space, Masai Warriors and spam robots (Hello, Jack!) to be wary of setting foot in this joint! You'll end up walking about with four heads and twelve arms if you don't watch out! This makes getting throught doors really tricky, I'll tell you!
Also, for those spam robots following The Amazing Bloggy Church of the Bad Boy Blissheid's step by step approach to getting out of your face on air, here comes the next step... but to reiterate!
STEP 1: You say Mumbo Jumbo to yourself constantly (this might be any sound you like the sound of, the recommended one being Susquehanna. But Sasperela, or San Franscisco, or Sausages will do just as well) and while you're not doing that you sometimes say: IT'S JUST A LOAD OF OLD PHOTONS!
STEP 1: This is just the same as step 1. You still repeat some Mumbo Jumbo, but when you're not doing that, you say: IT ARISES IN MIND, IT ABIDES IN MIND, IT DECLINES IN MIND!
STEP 3 is the same as steps 1 and 2, except when sometimes you say: IT ARISES IN EMPTINESS, IT ABIDES IN EMPTINESS, IT DECLINES IN EMPTINESS!
STEP 4 will come after I have received ten percent off the top!
Has anyone got a knitting pattern for a jumper with twelve arms and four head holes?
Well, I'll be going home tomorrow! This has been a great retreat!!!
Ra Ninth Day!
Wednesday 9:14 a.m.
The Domestic BLiss and the kiddo arrived safely yesterday and it was so nice to see them! They made me realise how tired I was. Then I got an hour or two of relaxation and went back to the darkened temple at nine o clock. Two spooky guys this time. But, due to the night falling, I think, the symbols were brighter and the heat thing seeemed to be working better. The meditation this morning finished very blissfully. Just before the gong to finish, I'm sure the lama came to me and upped ra bliss!!
Yes, that was a very good hour! I think I'm remembering better that I'm supposed to be combining ra bliss with emptiness. This isn't easy since it's very nice just to have ra bliss, especially when it's very full on. Actually, when it's very full on, you can't really do much but be in it.
Reading Lama Thebten Yeshe's Bliss of Inner Fire has been very useful again. I think I understand a bit more now about the illusory body, and I can use this when I re-write The Real McCoy. It's not a bad book just now and it's on my webpage.
I was happy when I wrote that book and I think it shows. I'll be happy when I do the re-write if I do it. I might be able to stop writing completely now and just give it up. I haven't written for nearly a year now, which is a long time for me. I will re-write that book if new book finds a publisher. If it doesn't.... who knows!
This is my last full day here. I'm so happy I came here when I did. By tomorrow luncthime I'll have sat meditating with one of the greatest meditators in Britain, if not the universe, for over sixty hours in the last ten days. It's better than money in the bank!!! What a fortunate creature I am, Jack. I know, Hotboy. Few more fortunate than you!!
2:48 p.m.
What a fabulous day I'm having! The morning session was the first one not attended by the lama, but what a session it was! At one point ra bliss seemed to go into a completely different ... a completely different .... well, it was completely different, Jack. Apart from the superhot symbols, it seemed to be there, most of it anyway. And more of it than yesterday.
The kiddo and the Dom Bliss were still here for lunch and it was pouring down good Samye Ling style. I told the kiddo about the lama once answering a question I asked by looking slightly pissed off and saying: "In Tibet they told us that sleep was useless!" So I went back into the temple for Makhala prayers instead of heading for the tent and a half hour or so of sleepybys. What a brilliant hour or so I had in there.
It's always the same down here. Just when you think it's just about to happen properly, you have to go home!! Well, I'm not home yet. I've got hours and hours and hours of ra bliss to go! Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss!
The Domestic BLiss and the kiddo arrived safely yesterday and it was so nice to see them! They made me realise how tired I was. Then I got an hour or two of relaxation and went back to the darkened temple at nine o clock. Two spooky guys this time. But, due to the night falling, I think, the symbols were brighter and the heat thing seeemed to be working better. The meditation this morning finished very blissfully. Just before the gong to finish, I'm sure the lama came to me and upped ra bliss!!
Yes, that was a very good hour! I think I'm remembering better that I'm supposed to be combining ra bliss with emptiness. This isn't easy since it's very nice just to have ra bliss, especially when it's very full on. Actually, when it's very full on, you can't really do much but be in it.
Reading Lama Thebten Yeshe's Bliss of Inner Fire has been very useful again. I think I understand a bit more now about the illusory body, and I can use this when I re-write The Real McCoy. It's not a bad book just now and it's on my webpage.
I was happy when I wrote that book and I think it shows. I'll be happy when I do the re-write if I do it. I might be able to stop writing completely now and just give it up. I haven't written for nearly a year now, which is a long time for me. I will re-write that book if new book finds a publisher. If it doesn't.... who knows!
This is my last full day here. I'm so happy I came here when I did. By tomorrow luncthime I'll have sat meditating with one of the greatest meditators in Britain, if not the universe, for over sixty hours in the last ten days. It's better than money in the bank!!! What a fortunate creature I am, Jack. I know, Hotboy. Few more fortunate than you!!
2:48 p.m.
What a fabulous day I'm having! The morning session was the first one not attended by the lama, but what a session it was! At one point ra bliss seemed to go into a completely different ... a completely different .... well, it was completely different, Jack. Apart from the superhot symbols, it seemed to be there, most of it anyway. And more of it than yesterday.
The kiddo and the Dom Bliss were still here for lunch and it was pouring down good Samye Ling style. I told the kiddo about the lama once answering a question I asked by looking slightly pissed off and saying: "In Tibet they told us that sleep was useless!" So I went back into the temple for Makhala prayers instead of heading for the tent and a half hour or so of sleepybys. What a brilliant hour or so I had in there.
It's always the same down here. Just when you think it's just about to happen properly, you have to go home!! Well, I'm not home yet. I've got hours and hours and hours of ra bliss to go! Oh, ra bliss, ra bliss, ra bliss!
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