Sunday 2 March 2008

Ra Capsulitis

Sunday 1:35 p.m.
As I was on the train to Bellshill yesterday to see the auld maw and Popeye, my brother, I thought I'd ask Popeye about my shoulder, which has been giving me a bit of aggravation since before Christmas. That's the advantage of being in a big family: you tend to share diseases. And it turns out Popeye has the same disease and has had it for a year. It's called capsulitis, which can take two years to go away. What? How ironic! Years of yoga and tai chi and you end up with a frozen shoulder.

Have you ever thought someone was taking the piss, Jack? I mean, this might be the end of my fantasy fighting career! Jack Dempsey can rest easy now alright. Ricky Hatton can go back on the Guinness and fish suppers. Marvellous Marvin can go back to sleep. Hotboy has now left the arena!

Popeye and I both had our troubles with helicopactor pylori and, of course, suffered from arrestitis at the hands of a cruel constabulary.

Popeye set off to get arrested when about a three day drive from Teheran. It was just before the Shah fled. Our Prime Minister said he was right behind the Shah, dropping everyone who was British and in Iran at the time right in the soapy bubbles. For three nights Popeye and his companion slept outside towns where folk broke the curfew dressed in funeral robes and hundreds of people were shootied. Then he reached Tehran and managed to get on the last flight to Blighty just before the shit hit the fan. What a relief! He was snowbound at Heathrow for two days and finally got home to Bellshill. So he went to the pub, as you do, and got steamboats, as you might, especially if you hadn't been in a pub for months. On the way home, he went for a piss up an alley and was arrested for that. You couldn't make it up.

I've not had time to write my book this week for meditating. The three hours today so far have been exemplary. Almost breathless bliss! Yippee!

10 comments:

ion said...

I'm assuming that Popeye is either hyperthyroid, very skilled at playing the accordion or very keen on spinach. Eggs florentine simply cannot be beat, and I love arrest stories. Hope your shoulder is better.

Hotboy said...

Ion: Popeye now works on a boat. Amazingly enough, the shoulder seems much improved, thanks. Hotboy

rob said...

Hotters! I had a realisation (just like the old days) after reading your comment at ion's place - largacktyl must be derived from pterodactyls. That helps explain a few things, like martin of the purple boots and the hair chewing.

rob said...

Hotters! Like dear old Himmler I have something similar, they call it rotator cuff syndrome here. I self-medicated it a couple of years ago, by swimming and saunaing (with the extremes of hot and cold, everything balances up), and of course avoiding certain aggravating yoga poses, press-ups, etc. It went away within about 3 months.

It only recurred recently because I used a stupid pec-deck on a home gym.

I read that the yoga pose which is a sort of sideways one-armed plank, is one of the bad ones. If you need any help visualising it, I can probably be persuaded to feature it as an HNT. That would help.

Hotboy said...

Albert? Is that you? Well done in curing a two year disease in three months. Teutonic efficiency strikes again! Once I discovered it had a name and didn't want rest, I've started to feel much better about it and it's less sore. Hotboy

Anonymous said...

I say!

Is your shoulder sore because you have been overdoing the clicky thing?

Cabbage is convinced that, once you have put him through secondary school, he would be able to do all the necessary typing as well as hut co-ordinator work, for only a little extra pay.

MM III

Anonymous said...

I say!

Perhaps you've been overdoing the golf.

MM III

Hotboy said...

Mingin'! I was injured in the field, I was, and now that I think of it, might make goolf tricky. Hotboy

Anonymous said...

With all this talk about it, I've got it back again now too, clear proof of cyberspatial infection. I thought you gurus were supposed to heal people?

Hotboy said...

Onan? It's always the same. You've nevr heard of a disease then suddenly everybody claims to have it! It's not much help that! Hotboy