Ra Stocktaking!

Thursday 9:23 p.m.
Like a scalded cat, one leaps into the quiet of January. They're all skint and partied out those flatheids.

I don't seem to have much of a craving at all for alcohol or nicotine. The process of whatever it is going on inside moi has taken a jump once again. Just by sitting still here, the body seems to fill up, be uplifted a little, stretched, and ...close your eyes and you're into the circumnavigations of ra bliss globulation beaming in and beaming out. I hope this is the year of the heat.

Aren't you scared, Hotboy? Well, Jack, I've been told that this juju can lead to amazingly horrible pain and agonies. And obviously I'm not doing this stuff right, or the way you would in an ideal world. Also, you might think that some of these amazingly horrible agonies could be caused by insufficient purification of the mind and body.

The effects of the vase breathing? Yes, Jack, these always were a wee bit bizarre, but they've gone right out the ball park now. And I feel that this is only just the beginning of the beginning. Let's face it, Jack. I've not been normal for the last three years and nobody's noticed. As long as you don't tell anyone.

The visualisations are becoming much better though they are still completely hopeless.

Ra bliss seems to be comparatively non-addictive. The attachment and clingingness of addictive behaviours disturbs my equanimity and helps to give me unpleasant thoughts. And it must be said that after a lifetime of giving things up, I've not really managed to give anything up at all. There are gaps. Feeling good between meditation sessions is the tricky bit.

All I need to do is meditate more.

Watched another fabulous teevee show about the atom on BBC Four. It was subtitled : The illusion of reality. Anti-matter, parallel universes, multiverses .. it was all there. So the boy says you can't get a true image of an atom because it exhibits the particle/wave duality. The only way you can describe it is by mathematics. Loved that! Long ago I read that Pythagoras thought numbers could be used to describe creation. And he was right! Anyway, I love teevee about this stuff because after hearing about all this quantum stuff, the world does seem a lot less concrete. Like images seen in a dream; thus must we regard all things.