Saturday 10:05 p.m.
I spoke to Beef McDuck last night about the malaria or septicemia or whatever disease he had. He told me something, but I half forgot it and searched for something like it on Google. Colitis. Colonitis. Chlamydia. You can hear the Bellshill voices:
"Ah thought you had to be a wummin to get chlamydia. Naw, Jessie, ye can get it if you're a man if you've had the malaria first."
I spoke to him today on the phone while I was searching for someone with the right satellite to watch the Scottish game. He had cellutitis.
I watched a game in a pub because no one I know had the channel. What a blight on the consumer all these bloody satellites have been! We didn't drink, partly because you couldn't get to the bar. Closest thing to being on the old terraces at Scottish football grounds before the brought in the seats. The wee bowlie legged dwarves and cock eyed zealots who are my countrymen murdered the bums 3-1. The pub rocked. Sometimes it is great to be a Scottish person, so it is!
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5 comments:
I believe cellutitis is simply cellulitis of the tits.
BTW, the best thing is to be a Scottish person who doesn't have to live there.
Albert? Apparently chlyminindia is bad for blokes as well. It was all over the papers yesterday. Terrible mess. Hotboy
At last blogger has recognised me! It took some fiddling, as I am semi-hacked.
Poor Duck- cellulitis is inflammatory and can make you quite feverish and ill. Hopefully with antibiotics he's now better.
You're right about that chlamydiadiadia- nasty stuff, and it tries to hide beneath asymptoms so that it can get passed on. Sneaky fucker! By the way, i your day it had been barely recognised, as was usually diagnosed as non-specific urethritis (NSU). Maybe you've had it!
Ion: If you can't catch chlymidiosis from voyeurism, I'm afraid it's probably passed me by! I've been with my fragrant partner since I was nineteen! So "in my day" was probably ten minutes in the afternoon!Hotboy
I'll spare you my similar story re herpes.
ion - I can confirm he's had it.
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